Both as a female and a newlywed, I have seen today’s Scripture taken out of context far too often. This text has been used by purity culture to shame those who have engaged in sexual intimacy outside of marriage; to harm those in the LGBTQ+ community; to diminish women’s voices and spiritual gifts; and against those who are single, dating, and engaged. This verse has been used in so many different ways—except the way it was perhaps truly purposed.

I believe that Ben Stuart says it well: “In the end, the happiest people are not those who are actively seeking a mate, but those who are actively seeking their Maker.” We live in a society that gets more caught up in relationships with others than relationship with the Lord. Instead of pushing people toward healthy relationships with God, we push people toward unhealthy relationships with others.

Paul writes that we are all created with a unique purpose when it comes to our relationships. Some are created with a gift of singleness, and marriage for others. Both are holy, and both should be centered in Christ, with our actions and desires first to follow the will of God.

Whether we surround ourselves with a spouse, partner, or friends, it is important that we are first in community with those who support us and push us in our faith toward God. Relationships can be hard and broken … just as we are. However, if we turn our hearts and minds toward the perfecter of all things, then we can experience redemption in our lives in the areas where we may not have even recognized we need it.

I pray that as you read this text, it no longer brings shame or confusion to your heart, but you feel a peace that points you to Christ. Whether you are single, married, or divorced, you are not distant from the Lord. The true joy that surpasses happiness or grief in our lives comes from the one who loves all his children—not our relationship status.

Reflection:

  • Who are you in a continuous relationship with and how do they point you toward Christ and help you grow in your faith? If you can, take a moment and send them a note of gratitude for your relationship and encourage them.
  • Have you ever heard this text used in a way that caused you or those around you a feeling of shame? Identify that experience and give it to the Lord, asking for him to replace that experience with his truth.