When Jesus was taken away from the Garden of Gethsemane to be arrested and crucified, Peter and his disciples basically tried to hide. But before he could truly disappear, Peter was confronted three times by people accusing him of being one of Jesus’ followers. Each time, Peter vigorously denied the charges, claiming he never knew Jesus. When the rooster crowed, Peter remembered Jesus’ prediction that he would betray him, and guilt and shame overcame Peter.
Jesus was well aware of Peter’s denial, and he wanted to meet with him after the resurrection to restore their relationship. In their very poignant conversation, Jesus asks Peter the same question three times to help him deal with his shame. “Peter, do you love me?” This whole sequence is rather confusing, unless we look deeper.
In the English language, the word for love is so widespread it often becomes meaningless. We love God, but we also love ice cream, our sports team, our family members, and chocolate. All the same word. The Greek language, which is the language of the New Testament, has three words for love: philia, which means brotherly or sisterly love; eros, which means erotic or romantic love; and agape, which means Christ-like, unconditional love.
Using Greek words, let’s revisit the three questions Jesus asks Peter. Jesus says, “Peter, do you love me (agape)?” Peter responds, “Lord, you know I love you (philia).” That is not what Jesus wants to hear. A second question from Jesus, “Peter, do you love me (agape),” Again, Peter’s response is, “You know I love you (philia).” A third time Jesus asks, “Peter do you love me (philia),” and Peter answers again, “Lord, you know I love you (philia).”
Jesus wanted Peter to be able to accept his “agape” love for him and respond in kind. But Peter was not ready, so Jesus finally only asked that Peter “philia” him. Eventually, Peter got there, and we learn that he was killed for his unconditional love of Jesus.
Jesus asks of us, “Do you love me (agape)?” We may not be able to respond to that, but we might just be able to say with Peter, “Lord, you know I love you (philia). But my prayer is that I will be transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit so I might be able to truly say, Lord, you know I love you (agape). And my goal is that I love you with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength, and my neighbor as myself.”
Reflection:
- Are Facebook friends philia, eros, or agape friends?
- Where do you see evidence of agape love in our world?
- What does a church look like where agape love is widespread?