The Lord’s instructions – they are the key to life.
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23
It was the fall of 2001 when I found myself sitting at a convention center in Kansas City, MO, in a stadium filled with individuals. I had traveled with a small group of men from Des Moines, mostly strangers, for a weekend of learning and worship. The conference, titled “Turning the Tide,” was about helping men change the direction of their lives by being obedient to God’s Word.
Toward the end of the conference, to a room full of captive men, a Midwest speaker emphasized “to guard their hearts” when in relationships. The speaker shared about the blessings that come when we remain steadfast in relationship with our partner and model it with words and actions. The speaker also urged all the men in the room to pour into the relationships at home with their children, the kids in the neighborhood, and if possible, youth with no earthly fathers involved in their lives. The speaker spoke about a new generation of men to rise and get engaged in the life of the family, church, and community.
I wasn’t dating. I didn’t have a significant person in my life, but the words and story from this well-known speaker spoke to my head and heart. This fall, my wife, Missy and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage, and the instruction found in Chapter 5 of Proverbs helps keep our marriage safe and has helped create a rich, fulfilling life.
Years ago, I came across an author by the name of John Van Epp who wrote How To Avoid Falling In Love With A Jerk. The book introduces a tool called the Relationship Attachment Model. This model looks at five areas where attachment (Know, Trust, Rely, Commit, and Touch) forms between two people and how the bonding of two people can form healthy and unhealthy dynamics by altering the levels of attachment in the relationship. I have found this model helpful when working with teens and young adults seeking a healthy relationship.
For those of you in a committed relationship or who are thinking about dating, read Proverbs 5. What boundaries are you needing to recommit to with your partner? Where can a sister or brother in Christ help you in your individual walk with the Lord? If you have allowed a substance, technology, work, or an unhealthy behavior to creep into your life, ask God to help you, repent, and find brothers or sisters in Christ who can walk with you in encouragement.
Lord, you provide wisdom and encouragement for all of us who seek healthy and safe relationships. Guide those today reading your Word to find support, encouragement, and direction as we try to find joy, be a support, and live into the fullness you share in your Word. Help us to heal our relationships and to be present with others who are hurting. Lord, we thank you for your steadfast love and promise found in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen.