Strengthen me with raisin cakes,
refresh me with apples,
for I am weak with love.
His left arm is under my head,
and his right arm embraces me.
My lover is mine, and I am his.
He browses among the lilies.
Song of Songs 2:5-6,16
My grandparents met and got married in three months. Not one set, but both, went from strangers to spouses in a head-spinning whirlwind. Did they “check all the boxes” for each other? How could they have known they were compatible in so short a courtship?
When we read Song of Songs, it is a refreshing reminder that God is not disdainful of intimacy but invented it (Genesis 1:28). Verses 5 and 6 of Chapter 2 place the couple in an intimate embrace, requesting foods that were considered aphrodisiacs. There is no embarrassment in their physical attraction.
However, while physical intimacy bonds a couple and the blush of new love often leads to commitment, Song of Songs also repeats the refrain traditionally translated, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine (v. 16).”
Even in an ancient culture, amid a biblical record that often accepts patriarchal marriage structures, Song of Songs demonstrates an intimate, loving relationship of mutuality.
My grandparents were faithful people whose relationships exemplified lifelong love and commitment. Did their relationships thrive because they were soulmates? Because they met one another’s requirements? Because of intense physical attraction?
I was blessed to have adult relationships with my long-living grandparents. This is what I witnessed: I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. My grandparents took a leap of faith, three months into a relationship with a fellow believer. And a lifetime later it was evident that God’s love overflowed into humble mutual respect and selflessness toward one another. Day after day and decade after decade, raisin cakes and week-in-the-knees newlyweds grew into soulmates.
I don’t believe we find a soulmate. I do believe, with God’s grace, we can become one.
Questions for reflection:
- “Checking all the boxes” has become a way of affirming one’s expectations in a romantic relationship. What are your boxes? Are any negotiable? Is faith in God one of them? Do you need to reconsider making it one?
- The couple in Song of Songs is open with one another about their feelings and attraction. How comfortable are you addressing issues of intimacy and respect with your romantic partner? What about faith matters? Have those conversations impacted your relationship?
- What does “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine” mean to you? Have you experienced or witnessed this kind of relationship?
- What do you think about the idea of “soulmates?”