There is so much in this one chapter I could draw on, but the passage I want to focus on is the following:

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on earth.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

I have spent the past two-plus years raising three children (ages 23, 18, and 10) as a single parent. In my opinion, the responsibility of a parent is to raise their children to the point where they can fly on their own. I was raised this way. I had parents I could reach out to with questions, and I still call them on a regular basis for advice. (Thanks, Mom and Dad.)

In my house, though, my approach to date has been to ignore the situation and hope it goes away. The situation I’m describing is doing everything for my kids vs. teaching and trusting them to do it on their own. They may not fold the laundry the way I want it done, so it is easier to just do it myself. The lawn isn’t mowed exactly the way I like it, so I do it. This approach has not served me well, as I now have two young adult children who are good kids but aren’t able to take the leap. As a parent, I’m worried to see them struggle, but I know that we all must struggle a bit as we go out on our own. That’s how we learn.

The message I take from the passage above is that a part of honoring your father and mother is raising your own children in the way you were raised. I am taking that a step further by saying it is also an obligation I have to my late wife to raise our children to the point where they are ready to fly. I am not giving up on this. I am also learning from my experience as I raise our 10-year-old and trying to avoid some of these same pitfalls.

Reflection:

  • The text uses the word “honor” as well as “obey.” How do these words compare?
  • What is an area of your life where you could/should give up some obligations that would be a learning experience for someone else?