A few years ago, my wife’s sister and her family spent three weeks with us over the Christmas holiday. My two sons were excited to see their cousin, and he was excited to see them. Then, the tensions started to flare.
I’m sure that’s just in our family. I’m betting it doesn’t happen for you. But humor me and try to imagine tension in your family. What is the source?
It turns out most people want to be seen and known. When they don’t feel that is happening, they can start to respond in a variety of ways: shutting down, getting angry, blaming, shaming, doubting their self-worth, to name a few.
At the time, my oldest son was into video games, my youngest son was passionate about baseball, and their cousin was all about hockey. So, they struggled to connect during that trip because they all wanted to do different things. Each would get frustrated with the others for not participating in his preferred activity. A few shouting matches later and they got to sit down with Pastor Uncle-Dad. The tensions had reached the point where they couldn’t see each other as anything less than an enemy.
In our reading today, Jesus is experiencing that emotional hurricane from all sides, too. His earthly family thinks he’s lost his mind. The religious leaders think he’s from Satan. And for his part, Jesus is not playing the same games the others want him to play. His family wants him to keep his head down and stop stirring up the religious leaders. Those religious leaders are getting upset that so many are drawn to Jesus rather than their teaching. So, we start seeing their anger and jealousy, as well as their ability to blame and shame. It’s a family feud for both Jesus’ earthly family and the family of God—and they think the top answer on the board is to do it their way.
Yet Jesus reminds the religious leaders and his earthly family, too, that “anyone who does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:35). That is important for us all to remember. It’s easy to write others off because they see things a little differently from us. We can take that as them not seeing us or caring for us, and we can become angry, jealous, scared, and more.
Churches have split over these kinds of misunderstandings and disagreements. The people stop seeing each other as brothers and sisters and mothers; rather, they start seeing each other as enemies. While we may not all agree on everything, there is something bigger that unites us—God and his love. If we focus on following his will first, we are able to see that the game we thought was so important pales in comparison to the relationship with our creator and family—all our brothers and sisters in Christ. And if we can start seeing each other the way God sees us, instead of focusing on our disagreements, we might just realize that, in this family feud, the top answer on the board is the love of God revealed in Christ Jesus.
Reflection:
- How are you at getting along with your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ these days? Are you just connecting with the ones who agree with you or are you connecting with the whole family? Why or why not?
- Meditate on these words, thinking about those you struggle to love: “Anyone who does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” Can you both be striving to do God’s will even when you disagree? If yes, how could that change the way you see the other person?