Have you ever read the Bible and wondered, “Why did Jesus have to say that?” I mean, so many of Jesus’ teachings are encouraging, uplifting, and inspiring. Then there are chapters like Matthew 19 that would be easier to gloss over. Jesus addresses one of the controversial topics in the Jewish world then, and a highly sensitive topic still today—divorce.

After being confronted by the religious leaders about his stance on divorce, notice that Jesus immediately goes to God’s original design. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:5-6).

Jesus makes it clear that marriage is a spiritual union, one that was never meant to be broken. Marriage is God’s idea, not ours to make in our own understanding. When we go outside of God’s design for any relationship, there’s pain and heartache—just as there’s pain when flesh is torn—so the man and woman are one flesh.

Yes, there are certain situations where the reality of divorce becomes necessary because of immorality or very unhealthy situations. Jesus is not unaware of the brokenness and hurt that relationships can bring. If that’s your story, hear this—Jesus came full of grace and truth (John 1:14). That means the truth that divorce is not what God intended holds AND God is full of grace for the ways we’ve fallen short, been deeply hurt, or made mistakes in relationships. We live in a world that would like to say it’s all truth and there’s no room for forgiveness. Or that it’s all about grace and our actions and decisions have no consequences. In Matthew 19, Jesus affirms neither extreme and holds the religious leaders of his day, and us, to a radical third way.

Reflection:

  • What view of marriage were you raised with? Was it more of a human-made idea or a God-created spiritual union?
  • Why do you think it’s so easy to live in the extremes of truth OR grace instead of being like Jesus, full of truth AND grace?